Sunday, September 28, 2008

Why I Don't Give Parenting Advice On This Blog

Even though it doesn't appear that God will bless our family with another baby, I like to read blogs on child rearing. Often these blogs are geared toward mother's of younger children, so they don't really apply to me. But I do find the various opinions interesting. I am always open to learning new and better ways to parent.

Considering that I have four kids, and a happy marriage you might think that I would be bustling with advice for younger women. I certainly get compliments on my children's behavior and my sons often seek out my advice on their own. God has blessed me.

But the truth is, I still have no idea what I am doing. LOL Some blogs give very definite advice on how children should be raised. And as I scroll through the comments, I am struck by how many mothers really want their children to be well behaved. But in all honesty, there isn't one single, perfect way to parent that works for all situations.

Being a military wife has exposed me to many different families and child rearing methods. I've known good kids to come from both moderately permissive households and slightly strict homes. The one thing all these families had in common were that they were consistent and the parents were involved with their kids.

I can say that those families who were at extremes in discipline, either overly permissive or very, very strict, had children who were difficult to be around. I've noticed that the kids who had no boundaries or discipline were often jerks in the parents presence, while the children who had very authoritarian parents were bad when they thought adults weren't observing them.

Most people who read this blog probably know that I stay home and teach my children. You might think that I would advocate all women doing the same. But that assumption would be incorrect. My sister and her husband love each other very dearly, their children are a joy to be around and they are strong Christians. But its my little sister who works and her hubby who is the home maker. She has chosen a completely different path then me but had very similar results to mine.

If you are wondering what inspired this post, I've been on several blogs which give very precise methods of being a Christian mother or wife. First let me say, I have never left a comment on these particular blogs, so don't get alarmed if I have visited your site.LOL Second, as is obvious by this post, I don't agree that there is one, single way of mothering children.

God has blessed me by putting such a variety of Christian men and women in my path who were wonderful but different then me, that I can't declare that my way of being a wife and mother is the only, best way.

1 comment:

Thomas Mary James Gette said...

"It takes a village" comes to mind when I read this post! I enjoyed reading this because as someone discerning the priesthood I need to learn about family life from as many people as possible to be of any use in the advice department.

With all the varying circumstances of what make each family unique, what you said makes perfect sense.

Imagine a parent of a "normal" child trying to give sound advice to a parent of an autistic child.

Though...I would not think you should refrain completely from offering ANY advice. Just dispense it only as the Spirit makes it feel necessary. Pray everyday that what you have learned as a parent be always ready in your "arsenal" if God needs you to use it!

The only sound advice is to raise them with the Love of God, but HOW to do that is a whole other story!